What if feelings trumped truth?

I have been writing a lot lately about the trans express, or maybe it’s a bulldozer. It seems that a new lexicon has been thrust on us with astounding rapidity and emotion: misgendering, cisgender, deadnaming, trans-exclusionary radical feminist (TERF), gender dysphoria. The following definitions were taken from Trans students educational resources. My comments are underlined. But know this: VOCABULARY IS THE PRE-EMPTIVE “FIRST Strike” WEAPON IN A WAR OF WORLDVIEWS! The LGBTQ/Whatever activist corps is not satisfied with mere acceptance. The end game is applause and total accommodation.

Sex Assigned At Birth: The assignment and classification of people as male, female, intersex, or another sex assigned at birth often based on physical anatomy at birth and/or karyotyping. Is sex “assigned”? If so, by whom? The operant principle behind this contention is that your sex is not only arbitrary, but foisted on you by whomever supposedly does the assigning. What about cause-effect? Your cells normally have either XX or XY chromosomes; they determine your physical anatomy, hormones and brain chemistry. Who, then, assigned your chromosomes?

Gender Identity: One’s internal sense of being male, female, neither of these, both, or other gender(s). Everyone has a gender identity, including you. For transgender people, their sex assigned at birth and their gender identity are not necessarily the same. Internal sense? If you have been born a certain sex, and that’s all you know, how can you have a “sense”of something you have no experience of? The tipoff that this is utter confusion is “neither of these or ‘other genders’.” What other genders? A true hermaphrodite, someone born with sexual apparatus of both sexes, may have both female chromosomes, XX, and male, XY. Is that what they mean?

Cis(gender): Adjective that means “identifies as their sex assigned at birth” derived from the Latin word meaning “on the same side.” A cisgender/cis person is not transgender. “Cisgender” does not indicate biology, gender expression, or sexuality/sexual orientation. In discussions regarding trans issues, one would differentiate between women who are trans and women who aren’t by saying trans women and cis women. Cis is not a “fake” word and is not a slur. Note that cisgender does not have an “ed” at the end. Just the creation of the prefix “cis” is meant to normalize birth characteristics with chosen characteristics. If someone is “transgender”, that’s their decision based on their interpretation of feelings. There is no need for the word “cisgender” except to water down the concept of normality.

Transgender/Trans: An umbrella term for people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. The term transgender is not indicative of gender expression, sexual orientation, hormonal makeup, physical anatomy, or how one is perceived in daily life. Note that transgender does not have an “ed” at the end. Then what the heck is it indicative of?

Transsexual: A deprecated term that is often considered pejorative similar to transgender in that it indicates a difference between one’s gender identity and sex assigned at birth. Transsexual often – though not always – implicates hormonal/surgical transition from one binary gender (male or female) to the other. Unlike transgender/trans, transsexual is not an umbrella term, as many transgender people do not identify as transsexual. When speaking/writing about trans people, please avoid the word transsexual unless asked to use it by a transsexual person. Everything I read, see or hear in the media indicates that transgendered persons want, even demand, hormonal/surgical “transition.” I would like to know what proportion of transgendered folks don’t want their appearance altered to look like the sex they identify with.

Binary: Used as an adjective to describe the genders female/male or woman/man. Since the binary genders are the only ones recognized by general society as being legitimate, they enjoy an (unfairly) privileged status. Ah, the now familiar privilege canard!  Are you privileged to identify with your biological God-given sex/gender? Notice I resist the false distinction between sex and gender being foisted upon the majority. By calling gender a social construct, they make it sound arbitrary. If indeed you are privileged, you can be grateful, or you can feel guilty. These definers want you to feel guilty. If binary genders are a “privilege”,  what is having your privacy in the bathroom invaded by someone who feels like your sex, but isn’t, and who considers a unisex bathroom option as “exclusionary”?

Bigender: Refers to those who identify as two genders. Can also identify as multigender (identifying as two or more genders). Do not confuse this term with Two-Spirit, which is specifically associated with Native American and First Nations cultures. Two or more genders? How many? How ridiculous is this getting?

Cissexism: Systemic prejudice in the favor of cisgender people. Prejudice, by whom? Is not wanting to share a bathroom with someone who looks like the opposite sex prejudice? If you mistakenly use the “deadname” or wrong pronoun for  trans person, and can be blocked from social media or fired from your job because, is that not prejudice?

It’s like I said, this is a war of lexicons and concepts. I never wanted LGBTQ’ers to be denied a job or promotion, or bullied or assaulted  because of who they are. Today, however, that’s less of a systemic problem than individuals, politicians and employers being harassed or threatened because they won’t accept special privileges for the LGBTQ posse.   

The Bible and the Belt.

I just read a piece about Tua Tagovailoa, the transcendent quarterback of the Alabama Crimson Tide. Because the piece was on Deadspin, Gabe Fernandez chose to focus on what he loftily proclaimed was the “shitty parenting”, especially by Tua’s father Galu. Tua said the that his dad would spank him with a belt for bad performances, and that he was raised by “the Bible and the belt.” So if his upbringing was so “shitty”, why doesn’t he resent his dad, the Bible or the discipline? Ah contraire, even the same writer admits he idolizes his dad. Tua also loves the Bible and his Christian upbringing. Where’s the anger, the depression, the bitterness that the pundits of our oh so healthy culture say is the inevitable result of “hitting your kids?”

A loving spanking is not hitting. When we were raising our three daughters, we studied the art of spanking and how it fit into a program of loving discipline. The rules we observed were: never discipline while you are angry; never make discipline about you or your feelings; spanking is not for accidental behavior, like spilling the milk, unless the child deliberately did it as an act of rebellion or defiance; if the parents believe that a spanking is appropriate, they should make sure that they are in a spirit of calm and love; you begin by asking the child what they did wrong or what they are being punished for, and if they don’t know or understand, explain it. Example: “you broke your sister’s toy after we told you to leave it alone. “You knowingly disobeyed and broke something that was not yours.” Depending upon the child’s age, you protect their modesty by leaving their bottom covered while you spank. Never use your hand, but rather a flexible rod, which will sting but not injure. Administer only enough spanks to turn their heart and attitude to repentance, to break the rebellion. How will you know? Our requirement was that our daughters would say, “I was wrong for ___________, will you forgive me?” Then you hug and tell her you love her. Saying I’m sorry is NOT the same as admitting to how you wronged someone–it is NOT adequate. What passes for an apology in our enlightened world–“I apologize” or “I’m sorry” doesn’t touch the heart and does not indicate repentance. It is meaningless.

If your child refuses to admit their wrong, or to ask for forgiveness, or to hug you back, the rebellion is not broken. Now I need to be very clear on what you are trying to accomplish. Every person has a will and a spirit. Socialization is a process of training their will to desire harmony, honesty, cooperation and other mature attitudes, without injuring their spirit. Anger, yelling and name calling crush the spirit without any beneficial effect on the will. Spanking is designed for directing the will, and if administered lovingly, will not injure the spirit. The resentment, anger, depression and rebellion we see so often among teenagers are symptoms of an injured or crushed spirit. Lashing out in anger, or yelling at and cursing the child, will reliably produce anti social attitudes and behavior. When I returned from Vietnam, I lived in a low income neighborhood in Philadelphia. I would pick up trash from the pavement on my way to the bus daily, and would see kids just throwing trash on the ground. When I would say, “this is our neighborhood, why would you want to mess it up?” The answer I got most of the time was some variation of “if the Man doesn’t care about how I live, why should I?” Of course, I would say “the Man doesn’t live here, we do.” All that ever accomplished was curses or being shown a gun in the waistband.

I wondered at such an attitude, then one day in a convenience store I saw a probable answer. There was a little boy, probably 8 or so, who was reaching for a bag of chips that his mother didn’t want. She smacked him in the mouth and yelled at him, then pushed him away. Maybe she thought she was doing right. She was actually creating a delinquent. A few years of that and his default behavior will be violent.

When Tua was accepted to university of Alabama, his whole family moved from Hawaii to Tuscaloosa, Alabama. The writer mentions that tidbit in passing. What “shitty parenting.” I noticed an interesting phenomenon as I was writing this post on an iPad. The device refused to complete the word “spanking”, even after I used it six times. I could type out spankin and it would still not complete the word. Hom yields homosexual, les yields lesbian, gender d yields gender dysphoria. That’s Apple’s morality police for you.

Guilt or gratitude.

There is a horrible, wasting disease epidemic scourging my country. The CDC, hospitals, and the best of modern medical science are all helpless to slow it down, let alone stop it. People who succumb to it become sour, then bitter, then start to waste away. The cure for it is available to everyone, free of charge, but few reach for it. Both the carriers and the victims of this disease spread it deliberately, not aware of what they are doing. they don’t realize it’s a killer, it masquerades as something else. The symptoms can include depression, obesity, alcohol and drug abuse, self mutilation, an urge to violence

This disease is ingratitude, but the carriers and victims think it’s sophistication. They easily see and bemoan the privilege of others: white privilege, male privilege, rich privilege. They say that evidence of your privilege is to be unaware of it. I will admit, it is probably easier in most ways to be caucasian and male than to have more melanin or XX chromosomes, though I have no way of knowing how my life would have turned out had my chromosomes been different. Neither do you. Therefore, I have no reason to be guilty about the privileges I had nothing to do with. I am grateful, if indeed my melanin content or gender is a privilege. Isn’t that the healthy, sane response to a privilege? By accusing me of being privileged, do you expect me to feel guilt?

If you are a citizen of the United States, is that not a great privilege? Did you have anything to do with that? If not, your appropriate response is gratitude. If so, if you or your parents made great sacrifices so that you could eventually become a citizen, I don’t even have to advise you to be grateful. You are probably even more grateful than I am. The guilt mongers who were born U.S. citizens, which is most of them, probably don’t think of their privilege, and regularly spit on it rather than give thanks. But you who had to earn your citizenship probably give thanks regularly.

I was born here, but unlike my skin tone and gender, I am consciously and regularly grateful. Every time I cross the border from Washington to Idaho, I marvel at the absence of checkpoints with armed guards. Every time I go to the grocery store, I marvel at the abundance. Every time I walk out my door to a peaceful neighborhood, I marvel at the absence…. of gunfire, of decapitated bodies hanging from bridges, of armed gangs demanding my money or my life. Every time I vote, I marvel that armed thugs are not lounging by the polling place (full disclosure, I always vote by mail, but I have passed many polling places). I hope to take the Amtrak Coast Starlight from Seattle to Los Angeles and back, and I will marvel that no armed soldiers will be getting on at any stops, demanding my papers and dragging some of my fellow riders away.

So complainers, whiners, guilt mongers, scolds, ingrates, who are ultra privileged to be citizens here, but unaware of their privilege, isn’t that the definition of privilege, you are unaware? But that’s not what you mean, eh? What say you to them, new american citizens? Probably try a little gratitude…or a lot!