I consider marriage to be a lifelong joining of a biological man and woman. Needless to say, that is an outmoded definition in our postmodern culture, but so what, that’s what I believe. Transgenderism (why the heck is there an ism for a condition?) and it’s current umbrella, LGBTQism, which is already starting to fray in the strong winds of trans intransigence, would argue that anyone can “marry” anyone, though slipperyslope-ism will eventually argue that anyone can marry anything. In fact, there is a guy who insists he married a dolphin. None dare call that an aberration. Today’s aberration is tomorrow’s mainstream, if we keep heading off the cliff of sanity.
I don’t like genuflecting to transgenderism. I’ve called it an aberration, anomaly and a hoax, maybe all three, though I haven’t used the word trannies yet (transmissions are also called trannies) and I have been waiting for a reader to call me out, and ask “how do you think trans people should be treated?” That’s a reasonable question, so rather than wait until it’s asked, I will volunteer my answer. That depends on the venue or context. Within their biological family, they should be loved. Within a Christian church, they should be loved. When out and about among everyone else, they should be loved, and within the company they work for, they should be loved. So should all of us in those venues, in a perfect world. But I need to define love. It doesn’t show up the same in every venue.
Love within your biological family must recognize certain realities: parents don’t take advice from children; as the children get older they take less advice from parents and resent direction more; parents frequently mistake enabling for love, though maybe the truth is that they love themselves so much that they are unwilling to be unpopular with their children. I have no right or authority to make any recommendations for someone else’s family, but I believe children will grow out of gender confusion, unless they choose a peer group that thinks it’s cool. Heaven help them. Parents who buy the idea that hormones or surgery are the answer for gender
dysphoria confusion may think they are loving by affirming, but what about the responsibilities of adult counsel? Whatever you do, there are at least two sides to the issue. Why not get both and then apply the test of Y2K? What is that? Remember how many people were in a panic prior to the year 2000 over the impending worldwide computer meltdown that never materialized? I was a financial adviser then, and many people asked my advice. My advice was the same for everyone: Since no one knows what will happen, don’t make irrevocable or irreversible decisions based on the worst case. Plan for a range of scenarios. The trouble with betting everything on the worst case is, you then have a vested interest in the worst case happening.
What this has to do with gender
dysphoria confusion is this: The worst case is that your child is truly, biologically “misgendered”. Betting everything on that scenario means irreversible surgery and drugs. If you let them go that far, both they and you have a vested interest in transgenderism being real, and in defending the change, and suppressing regret. What happens when regrets set in, like if God forbid, a biological woman who transitioned to the appearance of a male by having HER uterus removed, changes her mind and later wants to marry a man and have children? What if you rushed to get her testosterone injections and surgery when she was a teenager? Mom or dad, though mostly it’s moms, you failed your daughter. Where was the adult in the family? Instead, if you were more prudent and weighed all kinds of counsel, and came to the conclusion that if your child was still gender confused when they reach the legal age of consent, you would love and accept her or him whatever they chose, what would be your counsel then? Mine would still be “don’t do anything irreversible.” Am I saying that if a parent gives in to a child’s whim or temporary confusion, despite their (hopefully) better judgment, they aren’t loving them. Can you say “enabler”? Love doesn’t collapse with the pressure of expediency.