Stick it to white supremacists with my melanin content detection app.

Melanin: Any of various black, dark brown, reddish-brown, or yellow pigments of animal or plant structures (such as skin or hair). Black: scientifically, the combination of equal amounts of all colors in the spectrum. White: Scientifically, the absence of color.

White Supremacist: A person who believes that the “white” race is inherently superior to other races and that “white” people should have control over people of other races. Caucasian: Of, constituting, or characteristic of a race of humankind native to Europe, North Africa, and southwest Asia and classified according to physical features —used especially in referring to persons of European descent having usually light skin pigmentation. The objection to using Caucasian to refer to a white person is that many whites do not actually come from the Caucasus region. Be this as it may, there is no rule in language stipulating that the formation of a word must be based on logic; were this the case we would not call members of this racial group either Caucasian or white, since no one’s skin color is truly white, and we have no way of knowing who originally came from the Caucasus mountains.

How many shades of human skin color are there? I suppose it depends on how precise you want to be, or alternatively, how many your agenda dictates. I vote for precision, that’s why I don’t use the term “people of color”, because no color is specified, and I think too highly of human beings, made in God’s image, to reduce them to their melanin content. However, that seems to be the minority view these days. Why is that? Money honey! The POC thing, which is also the marginalized thing, and the underrepresented thing, all have this one thing in common, according to that fount of wisdom called Critical theory: A smaller slice of the wealth pie than their advocates think they should. They are marginalized at the lower end of the wealth bell curve, or underrepresented at the higher end of same. Compared to what, or whom? “Whites” of course. Ignoring the fact that marginalized non-whites in the United States are much better off than most people of any color (or lack of same), in most countries of the world, who are these people complaining about being marginalized, that is, not as well off as some theoretical average or median “white” person??

Since people don’t tend to walk around with a sign around their necks or a sandwich board advertising their net worth or their income, and since credit cards and debt in general can purchase a fake lifestyle, how do we know who is marginalized and therefore believes they should receive transfer goodies courtesy of the government taxpayers? Glad you asked. May I put in a shameless plug for my new melanin content detection app. The concept is simple: If people of color, which is none other than melanin content of the skin, are the marginalized i.e. less wealthy, then doesn’t it follow that the darker they are, the poorer they are….more or less? My app will allow you to measure the melanin content of anyone who you point the camera at and will assign each person a relative marginalization score. If a Democrat gets elected President, he or she, by executive order, could set up reparations redemption offices, preferably re-purposing unused church buildings. You bring your phone with the app showing your relative marginalization score, and sign up for benefits, the Relative Marginalization Credit (RMC). If this concept really catches on, there will be a line item in everyone’s tax return for their relative marginalization score. Those who already qualify for the earned income credit, or EIC (a tax credit for those who don’t even pay taxes), can probably get their reparations credit along with their EIC. Best of all, I get a royalty of 10% for every RMC calculated using my app, with the built-in royalty generator. Reparations anyone??? Let’s show those white supremacists who’s really the boss….using my app, of course.

This concept may appear to have a fatal flaw. What if someone were to try to hack my app by disabling the automatic built in royalty generator? Could they cut me out of the process? Nope. If someone tries to hack my app, it blows up their phone, which might either prove fatal, or might disable them enough to qualify for yet another government taxpayer benefit! Me being a baby boomer I still remember that rallying cry of the 1960’s radicals, “stick it to the man!” Most of those radicals became taxpayers, but their stupid ideas somehow survived reality. With my app they can stick it to themselves.