NY Post, March 17, 2020: “Gone are the days of casual hookups: City dwellers aren’t seeking flings but bunker buddies. ‘If it’s end of days we can at least go satisfied, and if we live through it then we have an interesting story to share for the rest of our lives‘ reads one Craigslist post for an isolation mate by a 42-year-old business professional who includes their height, weight and that they’re ‘dd’ (drug and disease) free.
“Would love to connect with someone, gather some food, necessities and hide together, we can get to know each other, have some fun while doing it,” writes the Queens-based searcher. Others are offering up provisions in exchange for love in the time of coronavirus.
“Before we all get put into quarantine let’s live together,” a Bay Ridge-based individual writes in a Craigslist post seeking to quarantine and chill. “I am looking for a live in situation and you can have room rent free. I am very well stocked up on food and beverages.” In another post, a 63-year-old man is looking for “Westchester/Bronx only” women to quarantine with him. But first, they must “meet up for coffee and discuss this.” Sorry dude, you can’t “meet up” inside the coffeeshop. Today I went through a Starbucks drive-through, got my nitro coldbrew, then sat in my car outside the building for an hour, close enough to use their wifi. The baristas were happier than usual because they had a steady, manageable flow of drive-through customers, without the usual crush of impatient customers
One woman is using the concept of a wanted ad for a “Coronavirus Quarantine Boyfriend,” simply to gain Instagram followers — but was inundated with real applicants. “I didn’t expect to get 100, 150 applications that were serious through Craigslist,” says 32-year-old Kelly Lions, who found herself swamped with potential BFs after posting a call for a “Covid-19 boyfriend (2 weeks max).” In addition to describing herself as “an attractive ~30 yo professional female,” Lions also offers “Purell + lots of TP, a sunny apt with south facing windows,” in her writeup. Lots of TP? What is our society’s fascination with toilet paper anyway??? In addition to the Craigslist responses, she also got some 200-300 responses on Instagram. “People were serious,” Lions tells The Post, adding that she totally understood why people would be “freaking out” at the possibility of a solo quarantine.“I love that all the responses, they always started with the fact that they had Netflix accounts,” she says. I don’t suppose anyone wrote about their home library. You know, that reading thing. Well, maybe you don’t, you’re 30.
Despite some singles taking drastic measures amid the outbreak, 92% of people are dating as normal, according to OkCupid. Although with NYC’s bars, restaurants and nightclubs now shuttered for the foreseeable future, it’s unclear how much longer that statistic will hold true. “Dating as normal”? You mean swiping right, or sexting….what is normal in 2020?
From the CDC: Below is the per-capita infection rate for each state. So, for example, right now you’ll see 4,232 for New York City. That is NOT THE NUMBER OF INFECTIONS. That means it is 1 infection for every 4,232 people. Nationwide, there is 1 infection for every 31,471 people currently. The numbers are going to change as testing ramps up. That is to be expected. Do not panic when you see the spike this coming week. They are expecting it.
New York 4,232
District of Columbia 18,096
New Jersey 20,801
Rhode Island 32,102
New Hampshire 34,864
New Mexico 74,887
South Dakota 80,424
South Carolina 85,812
North Carolina 108,125
North Dakota 108,866
West Virginia 357,429
My next post will profile Spring Break idiots, and the fact that 20% of hospitalizations are ages 20-44!