Quarantined for love….the new hookup(?)

Whatever happened to fear of AIDS?

NY Post, March 17, 2020: “Gone are the days of casual hookups: City dwellers aren’t seeking flings but bunker buddies. ‘If it’s end of days we can at least go satisfied, and if we live through it then we have an interesting story to share for the rest of our lives‘ reads one Craigslist post for an isolation mate by a 42-year-old business professional who includes their height, weight and that they’re ‘dd’ (drug and disease) free.

Would love to connect with someone, gather some food, necessities and hide together, we can get to know each other, have some fun while doing it,” writes the Queens-based searcher. Others are offering up provisions in exchange for love in the time of coronavirus.

Before we all get put into quarantine let’s live together,” a Bay Ridge-based individual writes in a Craigslist post seeking to quarantine and chill. “I am looking for a live in situation and you can have room rent free. I am very well stocked up on food and beverages.” In another post, a 63-year-old man is looking for “Westchester/Bronx only” women to quarantine with him. But first, they must “meet up for coffee and discuss this.” Sorry dude, you can’t “meet up” inside the coffeeshop. Today I went through a Starbucks drive-through, got my nitro coldbrew, then sat in my car outside the building for an hour, close enough to use their wifi. The baristas were happier than usual because they had a steady, manageable flow of drive-through customers, without the usual crush of impatient customers

One woman is using the concept of a wanted ad for a “Coronavirus Quarantine Boyfriend,” simply to gain Instagram followers — but was inundated with real applicants. “I didn’t expect to get 100, 150 applications that were serious through Craigslist,” says 32-year-old Kelly Lions, who found herself swamped with potential BFs after posting a call for a “Covid-19 boyfriend (2 weeks max).” In addition to describing herself as “an attractive ~30 yo professional female,” Lions also offers “Purell + lots of TP, a sunny apt with south facing windows,” in her writeup. Lots of TP? What is our society’s fascination with toilet paper anyway??? In addition to the Craigslist responses, she also got some 200-300 responses on Instagram. “People were serious,” Lions tells The Post, adding that she totally understood why people would be “freaking out” at the possibility of a solo quarantine.“I love that all the responses, they always started with the fact that they had Netflix accounts,” she says. I don’t suppose anyone wrote about their home library. You know, that reading thing. Well, maybe you don’t, you’re 30.

Despite some singles taking drastic measures amid the outbreak, 92% of people are dating as normal, according to OkCupid. Although with NYC’s bars, restaurants and nightclubs now shuttered for the foreseeable future, it’s unclear how much longer that statistic will hold true. “Dating as normal”? You mean swiping right, or sexting….what is normal in 2020?

From the CDC: Below is the per-capita infection rate for each state. So, for example, right now you’ll see 4,232 for New York City. That is NOT THE NUMBER OF INFECTIONS. That means it is 1 infection for every 4,232 people. Nationwide, there is 1 infection for every 31,471 people currently. The numbers are going to change as testing ramps up. That is to be expected. Do not panic when you see the spike this coming week. They are expecting it.

New York     4,232
Washington     6,415
Louisiana     17,811
District of Columbia     18,096
New Jersey     20,801
Colorado     26,661
Massachusetts     27,146
Maine     30,550
NATIONWIDE     31,471
Rhode Island     32,102
New Hampshire     34,864
Wyoming     36,172
Connecticut     37,138
Delaware     37,452
Georgia     40,525
Illinois     43,999
Nevada     48,891
Vermont     51,999
Wisconsin     54,929
Oregon     56,236
Maryland     56,502
Mississippi     59,523
California     60,602
Minnesota     63,367
Tennessee     69,726
Nebraska     71,645
Florida     71,832
New Mexico     74,887
Utah     80,149
South Dakota     80,424
Arkansas     81,563
Iowa     83,028
South Carolina     85,812
Montana     89,065
Virginia     90,803
Alabama     96,141
Pennsylvania     96,256
North Carolina     108,125
North Dakota     108,866
Alaska     121,924
Michigan     124,836
Oklahoma     127,644
Kentucky     127,648
Ohio     132,831
Kansas     138,729
Hawaii     141,587
Indiana     172,621
Idaho     179,207
Missouri     255,726
Arizona     269,582
Texas     349,348
West Virginia     357,429

My next post will profile Spring Break idiots, and the fact that 20% of hospitalizations are ages 20-44!

Author: iamcurmudgeon

When I began this blog, I was a 70 year old man, with a young mind and a body trying to recover from a stroke, and my purpose for this whole blog thing is to provoke thinking, to ridicule reflex reaction, and provide a legacy to my children.

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